Challenge
by Irish carbomb
Summary: Oneshots inspired by words. I said anything goes, but I lied. 4break: Spiritbreaking is a specialty.
1. sovereign

_Series of oneshots bases on words. Sporadic, possibly delayed updating, bu there will be updates. _

_For James, you rox some sox, pwnz the competition, and kick some ff orz. Kudos to you._

XxXxXx

"You ever think about God, BB?"

"snrrk- Cy, where did _this_ come from?!"

"I dunno… I was just thinkin'."

"…"

"…"

"Well, I guess, I mean, you can't not think about it right? Isn't that what makes you… uh… you know…"

"Human?"

"Yeah… I'm just askin', I mean ya don't have to answer or anything-"

"No, no, it's fine, I just… where did this come from?!"

"Hey, I actually think about deep stuff sometimes green bean… unlike some people…"

"I think! About stuff!"

"Uhuh."

"I'm serious!"

"Yup."

"Dude, that's not cool…"

"Well, I mean, I was in the T-car yesterday, and I passed a car accident…"

"Mmm."

"And, you know, there was blood and stuff."

"Yeah."

"So…. I kinda stopped and looked at it for a while. And I thought- What happens when all the lights go dark?"

"Hmm."

"So… I've just been thinking about it lately, ya know?"

"I guess. Nobody really knows, and no matter how much you wonder it's not like you're gonna find out or something."

"I know that! But… you don't wonder?"

"… …"

"No at all?"

"I try not to."

"Aw, BB that can't be healthy…"

"So what? The business we're in, I don't _want_ to think about it! Any fight, Cy, you know? Any fight and it's done. It could be the smallest thing and suddenly it's over…"

"Woah."

"Yeah. And what happens? I don't know. And I don't think I wanna find out now."

"…"

"…"

"I believe in reincarnation."

"… What?"

"You know, after you die you get reborn in another life? I think that happens."

"Oh that's stupid… who would want to do _this_ all over again?"

"Cuz… uh… you don't… uh… finish stuff. I don't know!"

"Uhuh."

"Ok, Mr. Avoidance. What do _you_ think happens?"

"I don't know! I told you that!"

"Oh come ON, you've got to have some sort of theory or whatever. You can't go through life and NOT have one-"

"Yes I can!"

"No you can't!"

"_Yes I can!"_

"No- you- can't!"

"Yes I can TIMES INFINITY!"

"… Dang."

"Yeah! Suck on THAT tin man."

"Ha Ha. But seriously BB. You don't think about it at all?"

"… no."

"I think you're lying."

"Oh yeah?! Well at least I'm not being all morbid and emo!"

"Thinking about what happens after you die isn't _emo_! Come on, just tell me!"

"…"

"Beeeeeeast Boooooy… come ooooooooooon!"

"All right! Will you shut up and let me rez people in peace then?"

"Yeah sure."

"Ok… well… uh… I kinda thought… you make your own afterlife ya know?"

"… … … um-"

"I mean, you, like, make… what… happens to you or something. Like, you make your own heaven, or you make your own hell, or you… uh… yeah."

"Wow."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That's pretty deep BB-"

"Heh. Thanks."

"I don't know. I still believe in reincarnation."

"Psh."

"Wouldn't it be cool if we just… respawned, like in double-u Oh double-u?

"Yeah."

"Find your body and you're "rezzed". Heh."

"It takes so long though, in the Barrens…"

"Well yeah, they only have that one graveyard or whatever- Look out, P versus P toggled elf behind you-"

"Whatever. I can own him- taurens are cool like that-"

"Yeah well, they're not cooler than gnomes-"

"Oh PLEASE-"

I start moving again from where I had been listening in the hallway. I shouldn't eavesdrop, I'm usually good with things like privacy, but I never thought I would hear those boys talking about _that_. Of all things.

I pull my hood down as I enter my room. I stride to my bed and lie down, stretching and yawning. We had fought with Plasmus the day before, and we were all rather sore.

But…

Death…

What does happen?

Being a half-demon, I like to think I know. The only fate I am completely certain of is my own. I know little of what will happen to the others, when their shells die and their souls are released. I know they move on, to someplace else, a different plane than this one. Something that I have never been able to reach in all my meditation and dimensional travels. I know where it is, as much as you can know where a dimension is located.

In my mind's map of these locations it is something I cannot grasp. It's simply a blank spot, but it's not _blank_, because I know something's there, yet I can't see it…

It frightens me…

For what is this place that I cannot penetrate?

Will I not be able to enter it? Ever? Am I banned from it? Is it because I'm what I am? Or is it because I'm not completely released yet, that my soul still has purpose for this shell and clings to it, preventing me from seeing what this _blank_ holds?

I sigh, pushing threads of hair from my eyes. I turn over. I'm tired. I want to sleep…

…I think, though…

Beast Boy's idea… it rings around my head like an annoying fly, I don't want to think about it, but I do because I have nothing better to focus on…

Yes…

I like what he said…

To be sovereign of, of _yourself_… your very soul, and what happens to it-

For once-

Would be lovely…


	2. Insane

"Robin?"

I slide the door open quietly, in case he's actually sleeping. He's not. The whites of his mask flash in my direction.

"What?"

His voice is hoarse, like he hasn't used it in ages. Which seems plausible. These past few… uh… _how long was it again_? They went by slowly, anyway. It's been hard. For everyone.

But Robin- 

I hesitate.

"H-how are you doing?"

I mentally slap myself. What a stupid question.

He looks at the wall and gestures at the door.

"Go away please."

He's my leader, and I should listen to him. I lean against the doorway and watch him.

"We're looking for a way to get her back, you know."

He glares.

"I know that."

He says it defiantly, as if he has to prove something. I step deeper into the meticulously clean room. He sits up.

"Raven, go away."

_(I should really listen why am I not listening leave just leave ok just step out something weird is going down here and I don't like this at all-)_

_Wait- what?_

I shake my head and produce the sandwich and Snapple I'm holding.

"Cyborg said you have to eat."

He edges towards me like I might suddenly lash out and take his head off, then snatches the food and juice and tears into it.

_(Minutes hours days weeks months how long ago was it again?)_

After he's ingested half the sandwich, I venture to ask again.

"So, are you ok?"

(Something weird-) 

He stops eating and… stares.

"Robin?"

(_weird-)_

He drops his food and buries his face in his gloved hands.

_(Listen to him Raven you just get outta there now-)_

"I want her back."

I sit next to him on his bed, and thinking back to every teen angst show I've been forced to watch, I reach to pat his shoulder in an understanding manner.

"I m-miss her…"

He grasps my hand and squeezes.

"I know you do, Robin. That's fine."

"When I saw- could I have been faster?"

_(Not necessarily in this room you know just something in this tower it's weird it's strange it's it's it's creepy-)_

The grip on my hand tightens. I shake my head.

"No, you couldn't have caught her no matter what. You couldn't have guessed she would go after Warp like that."

To my utter discomfort, he starts to cry.

_(It's something vital you know something very vital is breaking down and you should really think about getting out of here Rae-) _

"I want her back so much-"

He collapses against me and cries, not sobbing, hysterical heaves, but I can definitely feel the tears and hear the sharp intakes of breath.

"I don't know what to do anymore-"

I awkwardly pat his back. This isn't what I'm made for, this comforting thing-

_(I'm serious can you remember how long it's been since-)_

and it's hard to comfort someone who is sad for the same reason you are.

(_the fight you know the battle when she fell through-)_

He cries for god knows how long until finally he heaves a shuddering breath and lies still, mask wrinkled with his brow as he drifts into an uneasy sleep.

(_Can't really remember how long it's been I'll have to ask Starfire no Cyborg no Starfire no wait she's not here anymore so Cyborg right-)_

I untangle myself from his desperate grasp and tuck him under his red sheets and blankets before backing out of the room.

I walk down the hallway towards the kitchen and I-

_(-really is something wrong and you know it-)_

collide with Beast Boy coming the other way.

"Hey," I offer, something I'd normally not do, but lately everyone's been doing things they'd normally not do.

"Hey." He says back, unsmilingly. He continues on.

"Wait," I call him back. "How long has it been since the battle with Warp?"

He looks at me oddly.

"Three months, Rae. Why?"

_(See three months told you told you told you-)_

"Nothing. How's Cyborg going with his research?"

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, looking at the carpet.

"He says…" He stops and gulps. "He says he doesn't think there's a way to get her b-back-"

_(Something vital is breaking down and you know it-)_

"-Because we don't know the exact time and plane she landed in or something…"

I nod and turn away.

"Raven?"

I turn back.

"Are you ok?"

_(-Should listen to your leader you know something weird is going on all of you just run just you jackrabbit right out of there huh-)_

"I'm fine. What about you?"

He pauses. Thinks thinks looks at the ground again.

"I don't know."

We look at each other. We go our separate ways.

I wander into the common room and towards the kitchen, where I automatically take out my tea and cup.

I pause. I don't feel like waiting for the water to boil. I push the cup into the microwave with a tea bag and set the timer.

"Raven?"

It's Cyborg. I look over at him in the doorway.

"What is it, Cyborg?"

He hesitates. I watch him as he fidgets.

"I'm going away for a while."

I say nothing. He fiddles with the strap of a bag he's holding.

"I need t-to clear the air, ya know? I can't take… much more."

I say nothing.

"Just, uh, just wanted to…"

He stops when he realizes that-

_(I think that tea's done why did I put it in the microwave I hate that thing why didn't I just use the damn stove-)_

I'm not listening. He turns and leaves.

I take the cup out and drop it immediately, the hot handle having just burned a layer of skin from my fingers.

The tea foams out from the broken shards of glass and seeps into my boots.

_(Did Robin ask me to take the garbage to the dump yesterday I can't remember that's strange huh seems to me that Cyborg was right about Beast Boy putting maple syrup in Robin's shampoo bottle and Starfire scrubbing it out for ten hours his head is so red it matches his uniform-)_

"Raven?"

I look up.

Beast Boy is in front of me, watching me like I might suddenly drop dead.

"What? What is it?"

"You're still in here?!"

I look at the window. It appears to be dawn.

I look down. The tea has gone cold hours ago and has already started to evaporate.

"What day is it today?"

He stares-

"Oh, and you shouldn't have put that syrup in Robin's shampoo, he's probably going to be really mad."

(_I think I need to meditate and then afterwards maybe I can tell Starfire I'd like to go to the mall-)_

"_It's Tuesday Raven, and jeez that was like, a year ago what's up with you-"_

I walk down the hallway and into my room, where I sit in the middle of the floor and chant my mantra.

_(-Shoulda run you shoulda run you stupid fool-)_

Someone knocks at my door.

"Raven?"

I look up, annoyed.

"I'm meditating. Go away."

The door slides open and Beast Boy creeps in, looking near panic.

"Raven, are you ok? Me and Rob- ok, I'm really worried about you, you're starting to scare me, you've been in here for ages, like, three days-"

I pause and look at him.

_(Three days no three months since that stupid battle with Warp wasn't it-)_

"Raven? Please, please talk to me, Robin is- is- he won't come out of his room, Cyborg is gone, I'm getting scared so _please talk to me_-"

He reaches out and touches me. I don't move.

"Raven? Rae?"

His voice is desperate, pleading, and so very scared. Terrified.

"Raven!"

I jerk and suddenly something clicks, something's been talking to me hasn't it, something's been telling me-

"Beast Boy?"

He falls forward onto his knees in front of me, staring at me like I've sprouted two heads, like he's never seen me before-

"Raven, please, I'm _scared_, I don't know what's going on _please tell me please-"_

(_Something weird something weird something weird-)_

"I don't know."

I let him hug me because there's nothing else for me to do.

"It's insane, Rae, I'm serious, I'm not sure what's going on and I'm so confused-"

I feel his breath against the side of my neck.

"Please don't leave me-"

_(Something wrong something very very wrong and you should all just take a break just you sprint on out-)_

"I don't know what I'd do if you all left me but it would probably be something stupid so please don't go-"

"Ok, Beast Boy. Calm down."

He takes a shuddering breath and kisses the side of my cheek, my forehead, then hugs me again and something in my head explodes-

"Don't leave, don't leave, please don't-"

(_All of you not just you all of you dummy all of you LEAVE-)_

"Beast Boy."

He sits back and stares at my carpet, little runnels tracing their way down his cheeks.

"Relax. Nothing-"

_(EVERYTHING-)_

"-is wrong. We're going to be fine. And I'm not leaving."

He scrubs his cheeks with his arm and sniffs.

"Never?"

I don't say anything to that. I pat him on the shoulder and send him away so I don't have to deal with him or anything else.


	3. Morbid

Watching him struggle to lift the weight was hard.

Hard on her, hard on her emotions, hard on everything.

Raven sighs and leans back on the bench.

"Raaae- I'm gonna do it, I swear! Just, uh, just uhhh, one minute-"

He heaves upward, straining hard, frail legs shaking and skinny arms trembling, and the weight remains firmly attached to the floor.

He flops back down with a groan, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'll, I'll do it, Rae, you don't have to, to look so sad…"

"Don't hurt yourself, Garfield."

He leaps back up- or tries to.

"Raven, I can DO it! I did it- uhh, yesterday! I SWEAR!"

She sighs again and walks over to him, him and his lined face and his veined hands and shriveled self.

She traces a wrinkle on his face.

"Gar… you're only forty-five…"

He winces and looks away, at the floor, at the wall, anything but her relatively young stature. She correctly looks forty-six. He looks seventy.

He grasps her fingers in his own shaky hand and holds it, and she feels his calloused skin and brittle bones working hard to move.

"It'll be uh, ok, Rae… you know I hate it when you look so morbid…"

His status was something that was unavoidable. His animal genes were to blame. He aged faster, disindegrated sooner. His head had started losing it's hair in his twenties. He had started to slow down at thirty. By forty, he wasn't going out anymore. While the rest of the team, now just called the Titans, trounced bank robbers and super villains, he stayed home and tried to work out. To halt the vigorous decline of his health and his body.

And his mind.

He stumbled forward for a hug, and she let him.

"It'll be- uh, it'll be fine Raven. I'm gonna last a while. I'm still, uh, still going strong…"

She lets him say it because she knows that to say anything else would crush him.

She lets him kiss her cheek, and then he shuffles back to the weight and bends down to grasp it with a moan.

"Back's hurting today…"

"Don't do this to yourself, Garfield."

He pauses, still holding onto the bar, widening his stance and planting his feet firmly against the training mat.

"I uh, I have to."

"You're being ridiculous."

He straightens up with a flinch, and grins weakly at her.

"That's what you love about me, right?"

Raven looks at the floor, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Yes, Garfield."

His smile falters, his eyes cloud.

She looks up quickly and says, "Gar, you know what we agreed."

He grunts. "I know."

"… … Do you?"

"_Yes_, Raven! I'm not- I'm not _senile_!"

He stretches a sad excuse for a stretch, and bends over again.

"You're going to kill yourself," She says quietly.

"Fine."

He grunts, flaps his arms, and HEAVES-

The weight moves, but doesn't lift more than a few inches.

He drops it with a moan, a groan, a hiss of pain. Raven hurries forward, for once allowing her worry to show through.

"Garfield, stop it- I'm serious, I'll get Nightwing, I'll get Cyborg-"

"I'm- I'm fine! Get OFF!"

He pushes her. It's so weak against her fit self that she doesn't even step back, but it's the action that hurts the most.

"Garfield-"

"No, no I'm sorry, Rae, I'm sorry, I know you do it because you care- I'm uh, I'm trying, but it's it's it's-"

He stops talking and concentrates, trying to string his words together.

She sighs and puts her arm around his shoulder.

"It's fine Gar. I understand."

He shifts closer to her and buries his bald, wrinkled head in her shoulder.

"M'sorry." He mumbles.

"I know."


	4. break

It was cold, it was dark, and it was dangerous. All three, combined with the incessant chattering of her green follower, were threatening to drive Raven insane. But, she supposed, she _had_ been humoring him.

"-And, if I'm getting this right, you're saying that human nature is inherently _bad_?"

The disbelief in his voice made her turn to him.

"No, Beast Boy. I'm saying that human nature is not as perfect, selfless, or flawless as numerous sources like to make them out to be."

"Well, that's bull. All the people I meet are nice! 'Specially the ladies…" He smirked lecherously. Raven ignored the innuendo. She knew how active his social life was.

"There's a difference between 'polite' and 'good."

"That is NOT true! Dude, if you're mean and nasty and- and all those other bad things, I don't think I'd be hearing you say 'please' or 'thank you' or just saying 'hi' on the streets-"

"Yes, you could. They're called sociopaths. Very accomplished at hiding their true nature."

He babbled for a moment, then gathered himself.

"Oh, sure Raven! Of course you would say that! Every nice person is secretly a sociopath."

Raven couldn't help it. She snorted.

"Hey! Hey! I'm not trying to be funny here! I'm serious! It's kinda disturbing that you have so little faith in the human race- nature. Human nature."

"Both, actually."

"_Sttchhh- Raven? Raven, come in."_

Raven deftly unhooked her communicator from her belt and flipped it open.

"Robin, this is Raven. What is it."

"Sttchhh- change of plans. You and Beast Boy circle back around towards the avenue. Me and Cyborg have the upper part of the alleys patted down, but we need to keep searching. Starfire's a couple streets to your left. We- need- to- bring- this- guy in!"

"Got it, Robin. It's fine. Raven out."

She put her communicator away, and glanced back at Beast Boy.

"Here that?" She hissed. "Keep. Alert."

Beast Boy flapped his hands in the air dismissively as Raven continued down the street, tense and ready.

"Pshaw, come on. We do stuff like this all the time, easy breezy."

"Hmm. It strikes me as odd that you can talk about how human nature is good when we are on the search for criminal lowlife." She drawled, glancing behind them.

"It's a talent! And come on, I looked at ratios online! The ratio of normal people who don't get in trouble with the law and criminal is like, like, 1250 to 1."

Raven rubbed her forehead, turning a corner. Beast Boy hurried to catch up.

"Beast Boy, first of all, those ratios sound completely made up. Second of all, just because there's no record of someone doing something wrong doesn't mean they're innocent, and for Azar's sake _will you pay attention_?"

"Look, I'm just trying to stay optimistic ok? I have no idea how you go through life thinking everything is horrible."

"It's a talent."

"Raven, come on!"

"Fine, Beast Boy. Not all of human nature is 'bad'. But I'm sick of you quoting every romantic comedy you've ever seen and saying 'why can't people be more like the main character of this or that?'.

His ear tips turned red, and she didn't even have to turn around to know that.

"I _do not watch_, nor do I quote, romantic comedies! And come on, why can't people be perfect?"

"Because then they wouldn't be people."

"Oh ple-

Before he could retort, she threw her arm out to prevent him turning into another alley. There was a rustling noise, a banging, and a cat streaked away into the shadows. Raven resumed walking, and Beast Boy resumed his dialogue. Raven decided she would ignore him and hope that would shut him up.

"Look, I just like having a little confidence in the human race. It's not all a bad thing to do, in my humble opinion, oh great all knowing Raven. "

"……….."

"All right, so what does the human race need to do to classify as perfect in your eyes?"

"……….."

"I mean, we've only been evolutionized for the past million billion years, you'd think we'd be done by now."

"Beast Boy, the human race has lots of searching and meditating to do before they can reach your so-called 'perfection'."

"DUDE! I think you straight-up just called yourself perfect!"

She stopped. Blinked, blinked, smirked.

"I suppose I did. But that's not what I meant."

"And another thing, what about us?! Aren't we good?"

"Not all of you is good."

He stopped short, staring staring staring. It was not joking, or teasing, or indignant staring.

The silence was too much. Raven turned as well.

She took a deep breath.

"… I didn't mean that," "She said.

"Yes, you did." Oh boy. His angry-voice rarely made an appearance, but when it did, she knew was in for some hard consolationating.

"… Ok, I did. But I think you're taking it the wrong way."

And honest to god rage is radiating off him.

"Oh yeah? Then what did you mean?"

"I meant that you are all very good, and you're all very nice, to me, but all of us have- bad sides. Sides that we hate. Not just-"

"Like my beast?"

"And my demon, and Cyborg's robot side, and Starfire's- … …And Robin's tendency to take things too far. It's in everyone. Don't take it so personally."

"…."

"And your beast isn't bad Beast Boy, it's just complete instinct, that when uncontrolled is-"

"Bad. I know. We don't have to talk about this anymore. I'm sorry I brought it up."

And he stalked ahead, his ears pricked for signs of the running criminal.

Raven began to follow him, but before she could, a voice, clad in black with Bright red glowing in X's, murmurs from right above her-

"Looks like you broke his spirit there, babe."

_**FWOOSH!**_

"AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!"

**KABOOOM!**

The figure sprints away down the street, Raven hot on his heels, and maybe a bit of extra anger aids her speed this time.


End file.
